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Deviant for 1 Year
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The village called hope. by Jakvia The village called hope. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 12 6 Top of Mam Tor. Final. by Jakvia Top of Mam Tor. Final. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 14 6 Top of Mam Tor. Four. by Jakvia Top of Mam Tor. Four. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 8 3 Top of Mam Tor. Three. by Jakvia Top of Mam Tor. Three. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 4 0 Top of Mam Tor. Two. by Jakvia Top of Mam Tor. Two. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 8 3 Top of Mam Tor. One. by Jakvia Top of Mam Tor. One. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 5 0 Untitled by Jakvia Untitled :iconjakvia:Jakvia 5 0 Untitled by Jakvia Untitled :iconjakvia:Jakvia 5 0 Untitled by Jakvia Untitled :iconjakvia:Jakvia 5 0 Flowing stream. by Jakvia Flowing stream. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 7 1 Mam tor, again. by Jakvia Mam tor, again. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 7 1 The man in the blue coat. by Jakvia The man in the blue coat. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 4 0 Untitled by Jakvia Untitled :iconjakvia:Jakvia 6 0 Untitled by Jakvia Untitled :iconjakvia:Jakvia 4 0 Untitled by Jakvia Untitled :iconjakvia:Jakvia 3 0 Mam tor. by Jakvia Mam tor. :iconjakvia:Jakvia 6 3

Favourites

Oak leaf sketch by Isadorrah Oak leaf sketch :iconisadorrah:Isadorrah 18 0 Kangaroo Rat by Isadorrah Kangaroo Rat :iconisadorrah:Isadorrah 51 0 Max  by DegreeInfinite Max :icondegreeinfinite:DegreeInfinite 17 12 Spring Bunny. by SueMArt Spring Bunny. :iconsuemart:SueMArt 196 56 Look at what You Have Done of Me by PriestofTerror Look at what You Have Done of Me :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 60 3 Cadavre sans Tombe by PriestofTerror Cadavre sans Tombe :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 30 5 Today is a nice Day to Die by PriestofTerror Today is a nice Day to Die :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 58 8 Cover Vinyl K.F.R by PriestofTerror Cover Vinyl K.F.R :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 132 11 Nebula by PriestofTerror Nebula :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 58 3 Lucifer by PriestofTerror Lucifer :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 34 4 My Torments by PriestofTerror My Torments :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 123 2 Anorexia by PriestofTerror Anorexia :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 27 2 Inferno I by PriestofTerror Inferno I :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 87 7 Where the Dead Talk by PriestofTerror Where the Dead Talk :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 108 0 God Told me to by PriestofTerror God Told me to :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 196 13 Ebola by PriestofTerror Ebola :iconpriestofterror:PriestofTerror 264 29

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Does anyone have any information on something called 

Indrid Cold? More so than you can find on a google search anyway. 

I can't eat, I can't sleep and I'm angry all the time. It was only a matter of time anyway.

Al? Say something. Your scaring us. 

I've lost him, that thing took him over. 

Incoherent screaming from all the frustration that has festered over these past few days. With every passing second he resents himself, making his breakdown even more devastating. Not only to himself but his family. He throws himself around losing himself in his rage and sorrow. The feeling is so powerful that he debates killing himself so that it stops. 

It isn't logical. You can't explain it with logic sometimes the suffer doesn't even know why they're upset. 

It isn't a one size fits all scenario, it's different for everyone, they all have their own ways of handling it and not everyone comes back from it. Not because they aren't strong enough. They are, it just adds up, eventually you lose your will to fight it and you just let it in. You don't care what happens to you anymore.  
When I first started this account I do so as a way to get publicly for the story the I'm working on. Then it became a place for me to share photos. And then the desire to become popular took over.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

I wanted millions to know about the story I was working on, I wanted to read their praise. It started off tame, I'd look at popular users and think about being that popular myself. Then it became an obsession. I'd watch other users just so that they'd come and check my gallery out. I had this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that it was a scummy thing to do. And for the most part I'd listen to it. But there'd always be that one time where I'd slip.                                                                                                                                                          

Then a little nagging voice would start up. "You need to be more active on this site, that's the only way you'll ever get anywhere with your story." This voice would nearly always start when I was drained of the passion to come on here, and I started belittling myself for not having that passion.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

It only got worse when I latched onto the idea that I was going to die before I completed the story, and I'd fade away into nothingness. Just another dead stranger to join the fifty thousand that die daily, the ones that aren't even thought about. They're just gone with barely a tear shed. As you can imagine this changed my perspective, all that mattered was that number on my daily statistics. I did always wonder why some users disabled that, and I think I know why they do now.

It's because it can add more and more stress. You get focused on it, you get sixteen one day so you must get nineteen the next, you aren't growing otherwise. You become obsessed with growth and it saps all enjoyment for coming on here. That's what happened to me. The worst part about it was that I didn't see those sixteen views as people until I thought about it. It wasn't a situation of "Yes! Sixteen people have took the time out of their day to come and visit me. " It was "Great. I got sixteen today so let's go and favorite a couple more artists that I'll never check out again so that tomorrow I'll have twenty two views." This viewpoint has caused me to have two mental breakdowns so far.                                                                                                                                                                           

And that's why I haven't been on this site as much. I'm losing who I am to the desire to become popular. I don't want that, I want to make as many people on this site happy. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to try and help more people, or at least make them smile.                                                 
I need to have one. I'm not in the greatest state of mind right now.
Zodiac, X, Island, Eye, Bannana, Apple... Bee, Mango, Coma, Foxtrot. Godfrey is in Olympus... 

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:iconsuemart:
SueMArt Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Many thanks for faving again, always appreciated Heart 

Hope things are getting better for you Hug 
Reply
:iconjakvia:
Jakvia Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2017
You're welcome. I always look forwards to your next upload, they're always so beautiful. Things are getting a bit better. I've started going for long walks again, give myself a distraction. 
Reply
:iconsuemart:
SueMArt Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much Hug Glad things are improving a little for you. Here's a kiss for you, my love! 
Reply
:iconcancerouswatermelon:
CancerousWatermelon Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch. And i really hope you feel better <3
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:iconjakvia:
Jakvia Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2017
Thank you. Are you feeling better?
Reply
:iconcancerouswatermelon:
CancerousWatermelon Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm feeling a bit eh atm but I'll be ok i think. Sorry i wasn't able to get on earlier
Reply
:iconjakvia:
Jakvia Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2017
Don't worry about it, I'm just glad to hear that things are improving.
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(1 Reply)
:icongarytaffinder:
GaryTaffinder Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2017
Thanks for the :+fav: :)
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:iconthewolfcreek:
thewolfcreek Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the fav...
Reply
:iconjakvia:
Jakvia Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2017
You're welcome, they'll be many more to come.
Reply
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